As parents of loss and parents of earth-side children, some of us often wonder and worry if we are doing right by the ones left behind. A question many of us often ponder is, how do we balance honoring our child that is no longer here, while we still care for our emotions, our partners, and our living children? Our guest today is here to share some insightful and encouraging expert advice. Annie Pelletier is a Sudbury-based psychotherapist who specializes in assisting families who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. While doing this type of work, she came to realize that there weren't many resources to support children affected by this type of loss; something that can impact them greatly. She then authored a great book for children called Missing Our Baby: A Story of Life and Love for Children Who Have Lost a Sibling Due to Pregnancy or Infant Loss, a passion project for her to support grieving children. In this awe-inspiring conversation with Annie, we hear about her own journey navigating postpartum depression and the traumatic experience of miscarrying her second child. She shares her thoughts on how she’s changed since her experiences, why she’s an advocate for talking openly about grief, and why she encourages special consideration of language when we have conversations with our children about grief. We also talk about how to navigate your growing (and changing) child’s journey with grief and why PTSD isn’t talked about enough. This episode carries a trigger warning for grief and infant and child loss so please listen with care. Tune in now for all this and more on today’s episode of Haven the Podcast.
Key Points from This Episode:
• A diagnosis of postpartum depression.
• Devastating news at the 12-week ultrasound of her second pregnancy.
• Being an advocate for what is in her control.
• The difference in dealing with her own trauma versus her clients (as a psychotherapist).
• How she navigates starting a grief-focused conversation with a child (aged 4-7).
• Her thoughts on helping kids work through the grief process while also protecting them.
• It’s okay for children to be sad; they have to embrace and understand their emotions.
• The importance of being present, as parents, in our conversations about loss with our kids.
• Thoughts on how to navigate the grief journey of our children (as they grow and change).
• Informing teachers, or schools, about your family’s loss and grief approach and process.
• Concerns surrounding the bottling up of emotions and grief in children and what to look for.
• We talk about the concept of secure attachment.
• Thoughts on why we aren’t talking enough about PTSD.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
‘A mourning orca mom carried her dead baby for days through the ocean’
